Friday, June 30, 2006

Sarah is another account director and sits at the desk next to mine. We just had a fragrance fight. It was PR chemical warfare, with my Abercrombie & Fitch Fierce pitted against her Jo Malone Tuberose.

After we stopped fighting (I won!), her phone rang and she answered with, "Oh, hello! Sorry! I'm a bit out of breath. I've just been having a perfume fight with Christopher."

That has to be the gayest opening gambit relating to me, EVER!

God, I stink and my skin's itching.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Look! Goldfrapp come from Bath! That's so funny because, you know, I also come from Bath!

Huh. Weird!

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Yesterday I went to lunch with an old friend from school who is having a few problems with her boss. The problems that she is encountering are not insurmountable objects, which she knows, but they are on top of other, more serious, things going on in her personal life, the main one being that her Dad is receiving chemotherapy treatment for cancer.

Towards the end of lunch we discussed how as we have gotten older our need to discuss our problems and issues with anyone who will listen has lessened. In fact there are lots of things that we don't discuss at all and the ones that we do discuss are usually with the people that we have known for the longest.

It wasn't very long ago that I felt the need to talk about all of my problems, all of the time, to pretty much anyone who would lend an ear. The fact that I don't feel the need to do this anymore is just another example, I think, of how I have grown up in the past two or three years.

When I was younger I lacked experience and I doubted myself and my judgment and I had a total lack of conviction in any decisions that I made. You need other people's opinions to make you feel validated. Similarly, when people had their own problems I was always chomping at the bit to proffer my own point of view and advice, because in a round about kind of way it would make me feel better about the decisions I had made in my own life.

These days the idea of discussing some guy I quite like with a relative stranger is really unappealing. That person doesn't know the person I'm talking about and they more than likely don't know me and all the things I have been through and how those things have gotten me to this point in my life. I don't discuss my sexual exploits with people I work with anymore, not because I'm ashamed of myself or of those things, but because it has become boring to hear girls screech and say things like, "But doesn't it really hurt?" (No. It feels great!)

Don't get me wrong. I love meeting new people and making new friends. But I love the warm blanket feeling I get from thinking about all of the people who have been through everything with me over the past 18 years or so and that I have gotten to the point in my life where when I do need to talk about things, they listen and understand and get me and the situation quick enough for the conversation not to have to drag on over hours and hours of sobbing and nose blowing.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Ok, I didn't die but my Mum's other dog, Poppy, did. Not on the racetrack, but back at home in Wiltshire. She'd had leukemia for a while now, so it wasn't entirely unexpected.

Although how cool would it have been if she had died racing sportsbikes around a racetrack?

I felt a bit sad about it the last couple of days, because those two dogs have been such a huge part of my Mum's house for me. I'm borrowing one of the motorbikes to ride home to Bath this weekend and it's so strange to think that they won't be there. It's going to be really quiet without them.

However, the weird thing with my family and dogs is that almost as soon as one passes on, another comes along by some random coincidence. One of Mum's friends has just found out that she's pregnant, just a few months after getting a dog. She already has two children so has decided that it's going to be too full a house to keep the pooch around so it looks as if Mum's going to have it.

Personally I would have terminated the baby and kept the dog, but that's just me.
I didn't die.

Friday, June 09, 2006

Easy rider

Well, I kinda was already, but now I am officially. I passed my motorbike test!! And now I'm off to Italy to race sportsbikes on two track days. Hopefully I'll be here to talk about it on Monday.

Have a great weekend y'all!

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Oh, the comedy of it ...

Apparently being on holiday is conducive to good blogging. That is, if good blogging can be described as posting links to TV commercials.

I clearly remember this from my teens and it's f***ing brilliant!

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Last Friday my motorbike leathers turned up at work and naturally I brazenly discreetly tried them on in front of the whole office.

The comments that I received were generally quite positive, but back-handed, in the sense that the girls (and one guy) seemed genuinely surprised by the fact that they made me look hot. One of the girls even said I looked like Maxwell Caulfield:


And another said that I looked like Tron:


And the fact was, they did make me hot. Hot in the sense that I lost about five pounds of body weight in just ten minutes. And that was in an air-conditioned office and not on an Italian race track, where the predicted temperature is in the high-30s.

I started my training today and passed my CBT. On the FIRST DAY!!! Usually you pass by the end of the second day, so this means that I am awesome.

But it doesn't mean that I have passed my *test*, which is on Friday. I'm still convinced that I'll fail, simply because some omnipotent being wants to laugh at me, sweltering in my racing leathers, not able to ride any of the sports bikes, because I failed my test.

Overall, I'm good at U-turns, emergency stops and slipping the clutch (in a good way.) I'm not very good at lifesavers (figures.)

Friday, May 26, 2006

On Tuesday I took and passed my motorbike theory test, which was a result, because despite revising for four weeks, beforehand, I'd been taking the test on a computer programme all weekend and kept failing!

In just over a week's time, I am going up to Brum for the week to do an intensive training course with the test on the Friday: the final day.

But the thing that really sets this all off is that on that same day work is flying me to Milan, to race sports bikes around a circuit. I'm going to be wearing something like this:

No prizes for anyone who can spot the danger in a novice (to say the least) rider haring around a race track at speeds in excess of 100mph. I guess at least I'll look brutally hot in my leathers, as I'm stretchered off to hospital.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

My name is Christopher. Nice to meet you.

There are two specific things you can do when you first meet me that are both guaranteed to get up my nose and ensure that we will never, ever be friends.

The first is to shake my hand so hard that I find it hard not to yelp as I feel the bones crush and a couple of fingers dislocate. Granted, no ladies have ever done this to me, but plenty of guys have. I've often thought that those guys either a) don't realise that their handshake is a pathway to a whole other world of pain, or b) that their handshake is some kind of neo-Neanderthal attempt at proving an alpha-male status. Seriously, either learn to take your handshake down a notch or two or the next time you crush my metacarpals I'll stab you in the heart.

The second thing you can do which will make me despise you with the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns is to call me Chris ... immediately after I just introduced myself as Christopher!!! (The caveat is that it is ok to call me Chris if I introduced myself to you by that name, which would have been at any point prior to 1996.)

The fact that I used to be a Chris is irrelevant. I always preferred Christopher to Chris, but my parents started the trend immediately after I was born and for a long while it stuck. A bit later in life, when I began my career, I decided to adopt my full moniker. So it's not me being precious or anything like that. It's just that I have a nice name and I prefer it to the shortened version.

And I'm sorry, but just immediately shortening someone's name is rude and overly familiar. Do you think it's acceptable to shorten Catherine to Kate, Elizabeth to Lizzie, Marilyn to Maz, or John to Jack (never really understood that though. Isn't the idea of shortening someone's name supposed to make it, er, shorter?)

So, just to summarise, if you do this:

"Hey Chris! Nice to meet you!" *crushes hand in vice-like grip*

... I may very well stab you in the heart. Twice.

Unless you're really hot, in which case I'll just be all giggly.

Sunday, April 30, 2006

Bad

I have found that going to New York, coming back again, going to Amsterdam, coming back again, dating someone, moving house, etc, is not conducive to good blogging.

I have had more great stories to tell in the past few weeks than I have had in a long while, but conversely no time to think about writing about them.

Anyway, this is cheating, kind of, I guess, but I need to post something, so here's a meme sent to me by my lovely friend Helen (who will be 32 on Friday):

1. What time did you get up this morning?
8.00am

2. Diamonds or Pearls?
Diamonds

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Inside Man

4. What is your favorite TV show?
The OC, although season 3 has sucked slightly

5. What did you have for breakfast?
A chai latte and a low-carb doughnut

6. What is your middle name?
Jonathan

7. What is your favorite cuisine?
Fish and chips with curry sauce from the Ancient Mariner in Trowbridge (Tim: I'm expecting a comment on this one alone!)

8. What foods do you dislike?
I'm struggling with this one. Oh! Whole fish. I'm scared of unprocessed fish the same way some people are about snakes. They FREAK ME OUT!!!

9. Your favorite Potato chip?
Sea salt and black pepper kettle chips

10. What is your favorite CD at the moment?
"Logic Will Break Your Heart" by The Stills

11. What kind of car do you drive?
An SUV

12. Favorite sandwich?
Breakfast sandwich

13. What characteristics do you despise?
My characteristics, but only in other people

14. What are your favorite clothes?
Jeans and a white T-shirt

15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation? Vietnam or Cambodia

16. Where WOULDN'T you go?
Blackpool

17. Favorite brand of clothing? Alexander McQueen (expensive)
American Apparel (inexpensive)

18. Where would you want to retire to?
A town house on the outskirts of Bath

19. Favorite time of day?
8am on a Saturday

20.Where were you born? Bradford on Avon, Wiltshire

21. What is your favorite sport to watch? Tennis

22. Who do you think will not link to this meme?
Helen, because she's already done it

23. Person you expect to send it back first?
Um. I know, but I'm not telling!

24. Pepsi or Coke?
Pepsi

25. Beavers or Ducks? Ducks

26. Are you a morning person or night owl?
Like Helen said, I'm flexible as it depends on what is going on

27. Pedicure or Manicure?
Manicure

28. Favorite food to order out at a restaurant?
Lemon chicken and special fried rice from Deliverence

29. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with everyone? I just moved to Shoreditch!!!

30. How many times have you really been in love?
Twice

31. Did you marry one of #30?
No

32. What is your best childhood memory?
Being taken to The Tropicana water park in Weston Super Mare by my Grandma and Auntie Viv

33. Favorite movie?
That's a tricky one. Three Colours Blue or When Harry Met Sally

34. Do you have a Will?
Yes. It's very, very strong!

35. Piercings?
Yes, in my ear and it's never ever closed over even though I haven't properly worn a piercing for years

36. Ever been to Africa?
No, but that will change in December

37. Ever been toilet papering?
No. I think that's an American thing

38. Been in a car accident?
No, thank God!

39. Favorite day of the week?
I want to say Friday, because of the anticipation, but anyone who knows me will know that I would rather it was Christmas Day than Christmas Eve, because it's closer to unwrapping my presents. So Saturday

40. Favorite restaurant?
Criterion in Piccadilly Circus

41. Favorite flower?
Camelia

42. Favorite ice cream?
Haagen Daz [sic] Strawberry

43. Favorite fast food restaurant?
McD

44. What is your dream job?
(Unrealistic and unatainable) internationally famous film star, but not a sell out. A male version of Gwyneth Paltrow
(Realistic, but still unatainable) or an accident and emergency physician

45. From whom did you get your last e-mail?
Katie. She sent me this:

















46. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
Brown's Focus

47. Bedtime?
11pm

48. Last person you went to dinner with?
Andy

49. What are you listening to right now?
Born to Run by Bruce Springsteen

50. What is your favorite color?
Purple

51. How many tattoos do you have?
1

52. What time did you finish this?
10.15am

53. Favorite magazine?
Vanity Fair, especially when it features anything written by Maureen Orth

Friday, April 21, 2006

Reasons to be sad to leave NYC

Well, one actually. Our dedicated waiter last Sunday night at Hiro:


Seriously though, I was a good boy. For once, I'm taken.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

The underwear I stole:

Two words come to mind ...

Wonder. Woman.


Back

I'm mortally hungover. I have vague recollections of putting $5 in a go-go dancers thong, stealing underwear from a party in a store and talking to actor Luke Wilson in the elevator on my way back to my room.

It would seem that I am back in NYC.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Madonna rip-off shocker

One of the great things about working for the particular company I work for is that I get really, really good perks.

Yesterday morning I had the opportunity to purchase tickets to see Madonna, after they had all sold out in eight minutes. The tickets, however, with absolutely no mark-up added, were one hundred and twenty pounds! These were for pretty basic seats in the arena and were certainly not going to be so close to the stage that you were going to be sprayed with sweat everytime she "expressed herself".

I think I truly am a lapsed Madonna fan now, because I categorically object to having to pay fucking one hundred and twenty pounds for a fucking ticket to see some almost over-the-hill pop star probably get another hernia attempting dance moves that her backing dancers can clearly do better than her!!!

As I told my work colleague, I would rather spend the money on a flight to see old friends in Italy than line the pockets of a multi-millionaire octogenarian songstress.

Hmm. Perhaps I'm getting old, too?

Friday, April 07, 2006

I think that's the longest I've gone without posting for quite some time.

I've been incredibly busy at work organising this New York press trip. Tickets for flights needed to be booked by the close of play on Thursday and by close of play on Wednesday I had only one person confirmed. Which made my own position on the trip that much less tenable. But as is always the way the other two confirmed at the last minute. Now all is good.

So I leave on Tuesday morning and I arrive back in London the following Tuesday. Strangely I'm not particularly nervous about it. Thankfully I have a lot to when I am there and strangely I will also have enough English people there, while I am there to help cushion the emotional impact. My old flatmate, Lynda, and her boyfriend Gary will be there at the same time, as will by board director who I have known for ten years and my managing director who, sycophancy aside, is one of my favourite people at work.

On Tuesday night I am going to a party for a top tennis star, followed by a party David LaChapelle is throwing for Amanda Lepore and her new blow-up sex doll. That should be a hoot, natch. Then on Wednesday I am at the NYC International Auto Show all day, which is AWESOME! In the evening I have a dinner at the Mercer Kitchen. On Sunday I am having Easter lunch at my friend Lincoln's mom's place on the Upper East Side.

And at some point I am also going to see Will, my ex-boyfriend, for coffee. I realised yesterday that when I see him it will have been almost exactly two years since we split up.

It's all a bit surreal. I probably sound like a total drama-queen.

Anyway, I will take lots of photos and will try to post where I can.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

He feels the same way! Whoo!

The only potential issue is that from Monday we will also be work colleagues, although we will be working in different departments. I think we'll have to keep things on the lowdown. Or at least until we get engaged.

Ooh! We can be all furtive and kiss in the elevator and stuff! How exciting!

I love liking people.

Friday, March 24, 2006

I've been asked to go to New York on business for one week on April 11. It is the first time I will have been back since I left just under two years ago. I'm really excited, but also quite scared as well. It's going to be a test. I've so far only told three of my friends there (although by posting this I probably told a couple more!)