Ok, the last is Pablo and is in actual fact, probably the least interesting.
Well, aside from the fact that he looks like Gael Garcia Bernal:
[That is Gael, in case you were wondering, not Pablo.]
So here's the lowdown:
Pablo is a 24 year-old Argentinean, living permanently in London.
We meet at Crash where very minor flirting (but no actual touching) is consistently protracted through the night and then onto Beyond (and beyond .. ha ha!)
As Pablo and I create our own super-hawt gayboy version of ...
... Sharon Stone's "let's really piss off Michael Douglas" lesbian dancefloor get-down in Basic Instinct, I notice with enormous satisfaction that Allen is looking really out of shape these days. Awesome!
Half an hour or so later Pablo and I leave and spend the rest of the day napping, eating, talking and having lots of hot pash. It's very nice because, you know ... he looks a lot like Gael Garcia Bernal.
The next day Pablo emails me to tell me that he would like to see me again, but that I should know that he is currently living with his boyfriend who he doesn't have sex with anymore. They are, by all accords, "splitting up."
I tell Pablo that I don't really want to get involved in that kind of situation but that I wish him all the best anyway.
Naturally we still keep calling each other anyway and texting each other anyway and making plans to see each other anyway, for almost a month.
One Sunday afternoon (um, er, literally five minutes after Andy dumped me) I call Pablo to say "Hi!" By an odd coincidence he was just leaving Later (yet another Vauxhall afterhours club) which is very close to where I live. He agrees to come over to mine for a booty call. I crack open a bottle of wine.
The booty call turns into a well-orchestrated, major bout of rumpy-pumpy, followed by me cooking dinner, the two of us watching half a movie on the sofa (half a movie, because I kept putting my hand down his pants), more le hot sex and eventually a cuddly sleep over.
In the morning, after he had left, he sent me one of the nicest, sweetest, semi-broken English texts EVER in the history of nice, sweet, broken English texts.
Something like, "You nice. I really like. Ass sore. xxx"
Followed by total silence for almost a week.
Followed by calling and texting and making plans and breaking them anyway. But not quite as much as before.
Oh, and he's still living with his boyfriend who he sleeps with, but doesn't have sex with, etc etc.
Why do we do it to ourselves?
Why do I do it to myself?!
Is it just because he looks like Gael Garcia Bernal?
Is attempting to understand the whys and wherefores of men dating men harder than trying to understand and then explain String Theory?
It's definitely just the Gael thang.