Friday, December 19, 2003

The day started with me stumbling across the delightful sight of a pigeon feeding itself from a pile of vomit. It almost made me wretch. I hope it is not a sign or anything.

Uneventful night last night. Went to the gym and then packed my stuff. Have three hours in the office today and then a press lunch and then flight home. Whoo hoo!

Thursday, December 18, 2003

Just remembered that Linky told me last night that the fight that I stood next to at Crobar on Sat got mentioned by Richard Johnson in the NY Post! Helena! We are marginally famous by association!!! Whoo hoo!

Last night I was doorman extrordinaire for Sally's party at BoConcept. Got asked by some fat swedish git to pretend that someone wasn't on the list when actually they were and that were also the owners of BoConcept. I looked him square in the eye and said "I'm English" and he gave it up. I don't know what has got into me lately but I am so not putting up with any crap. I think that my boss's rantings have caused me to lose my sense of humor.

Went home rather than going to Beige. Meant to pack but crashed instead.

I want to come home NOW!

Wednesday, December 17, 2003

Last night I watched the final three hours of Angels in America. I didn't want it to end. Probably the best TV I have ever seen. Again I got that great "I live in an amazing city" feeling and the opening credits sequence when the camera pans down from up high over the city to a facial close up of the Angel of Bethesda in Central Park...all in one shot. I could watch that sequence over and over...

The event looks like it is going well aside from the fact that my boss is still a neurotic twat. I am rid of him on Thursday! Praise the lord!

Apparently it might snow again on Thursday. I hope my flight doesn't get delayed. I'll be pissed off if it is....

Saturday, December 13, 2003

I am nursing the mother of all hangovers (actually that's a bit far fetched, but my aching head is testament to a great first night at Crobar and the powers of Lincoln's prowess as a club promoter!)

Spent the first part of the evening at home with several vodka and tonics before slipping off together with the gang at 10pm. Emilie couldn't make it cause Tanya made a fuck up at work and Em had to step in and sort it out (till 1am!)

The club actually holds three and a half thousand people, which made it even more surprising that the queue stretched down the block. Tess and Michael threw the towel in after 15 minutes, but once we got in it was worth the wait. Apart from being severely congested that club itself is awesome (I really overuse that word) and everyone looked beautiful, which appealed to my Libran sensibilities (not that I believe in that nonsense).

Drink flowed, in a free manner, which always rounds the evening off nicely. Lost Nick and Roy right at the start, but kept Richard, Roy's sexy friend from England staying with us at the apartment. Also saw Linky and Sally and Boden which was really cool because I love them all and especially Sally who is always frikkin fabulous.

Anyway - got twatted. Saw Michael Brown who was playing way to hard to get, so I got bored and tried it on a bit with Richard and in the process learned that he had a boyfriend of five years, which made it obvious to me that he was unlikely to put out. So I may have looked fierce last night but I clearly wasn't gettin any.

Richard and I leave together and in the cab home I try to offer some wise (yet drunken) advice about love and life.

Go to bed at 1.30am. Wake up at 5.30am and worry about my day so much that I don't get back to sleep again. Wander into the living room at at 8am to discover Roy asleep on the sofa with Erik who was, up until this point, straight.

I want to say he is bisexual. However, and this goes against all Clare and Lucy's PC training of me (I used to make some pretty outrageous statements in my youth that I am particularly proud of), in my experience if you play around with men, and you are a man, you are probably gay. Or you will be at a later date.

Anyway - going to Opaline tonight and might try to put the moves on Richard again and see if he really is faithful to his boyfriend. Is that bad? Will I get bad karma?

Who gives.

Lest I forget (because money means nothing to me) I just have to say that for about half an hour today I thought that I had lost the company $50,000 by not factoring in a cost into a budget.

I've never seen Tom, my boss, look so pale. It was quite horrible. Actually it was quite funny, but that's because I have a warped sense of humor.

But fortunately it wasn't me, so I am off the hook. Now I am off home to celebrate my good fortune.

Ta ta.

Friday, December 12, 2003

Yesterday was bloody great and I was on fire. I seem to have gotten myself out of the messy PR quagmire and am now a sharp as a sharp thing with sharp edges. I got in at 8.30am and already I have cleared my inbox. Whoo hoo!

Last night - Roy finally used the dried mushrooms from the cupboard and made mushroom risotto which is one of my favorite things to eat.

Then I watched Angels in America again. I can't explain how great this show is. If you live in the UK and want to see the trailer check out this link...

So anyway - the Zyban seems to be working and I am smoking way less than I usually do - yesterday only had four. It's weird - the craving just isn't there! But will continue to smoke until stupid PR event is over. Am going to stop just before I get on the plane next Thursday night.

Have just realized that I write my blog in a Bridget Jones style. V.bad. Must stop.

Thursday, December 04, 2003

So the awful day was superseded yesterday by what will now be known as THE AWFUL DAY FROM HELL. It actually involved me having a screaming row with my boss and picking up my bag to leave the company. Fortunately he chased after me and apologized. But the whole incident has made me hate my job (only for now) and made me question practically everything in my life, in a most rational fashion (crying on the phone to Mum!).

Aside from that, no other update. Work has taken up my social life now and have nothing to report.

Unless you want to know what I had for breakfast (nothing - no time).


Oh, oh, oh...and now I am drawn up with some stupid legal thing where I am talking to people about letters of indemnification and affidavits! I am completely out of my depth. I am drowning in a world of cheap cars and stupid PR ideas.

Wednesday, December 03, 2003

Awful day yesterday. Awful. Don't get stressed by work much, but yesterday was an exception to the rule. Am praying that today is better.

That is all.

Tuesday, December 02, 2003

Something very interesting I learned this Thanksgiving - the drug Tryptophan is harvested from Turkeys! Which is why everyone takes a nap on Thanksgiving (or in England, Christmas Day)! Useful to know also, if any has ever taken drugs and needs a natural come down. Go out and buy turkey. Not that I know anyone who takes drugs....

Well my first thanksgiving was a lovely event spent with my urban family, Tess and Roy (and for twenty minutes, Nick, who stupidly sat at home, two blocks away, watching TV and getting drunk my himself). In the evening we went to see The Cat In The Hat, which was very amusing. Oh...and I watched the Macy's Day Parade in the morning, but on TV, cause I was gonna be arsed to get my arse down to Broadway to see that fiasco! Right.

Weekend - usual...Opaline on Friday, blah, blah, blah...went to gym...blah...slept an unusual amount and read a lot of Harry Potter.

Oh, and I changed my summer duvet (comforter) to my winter duvet (comforter) because it is now colder than iceland in our apartment. I was as snug as the proverbial bug in a winter duvet (comforter) last night and this morning was a bastard to get out of it.

The shit hit the fan this morning cause Angie and Jason Turkey event last Tuesday got no press at all. This does not fare well for the team. Or me, for that matter.

And Matt Moneypenny hasn't called me. Bastard. I never fancied him that much anyway.

Will email him now and see what he is up to.

OH! Went and saw Love Actually. Made me homesick. :(

Thursday, November 27, 2003

Lyrics to Private Life by Grace Jones. She is tres harsh, man!

J'ai les glands with your theatrics,
Your acting's a drag,
It's ok on tv, but you can turn it off,

Your marriage is a tragedy,
But it's not my concern,
I'm very superficial i hate everything official,
Your private life drama, baby, leave me out

Your sentimental gestures only bore me to death,
You've made a desperate appeal, now save your breath,
Attachment to obligation, through guilt and regret, shit thats so wet

And your sex life complications are not my fascinations,
Your private life drama, baby, leave me out

You asked my advice i say use the door,
But your still clinging to somebody you deplore,
And now you wanna use me for emotional blackmail,
I just feel pity when you lie, contempt when you cry,

Your private life drama, baby, leave me out,(x2) oh!

Sunday, November 23, 2003

Oops! Been a bit relaxed in keeping my blog up to speed. Feel like I have been on speed over the last few days. Work is manic and have been spending most of the week organizing a press event with Angie Harmon and Jason Sehorn handing over the keys to a couple of Dodge Durango's to New York's version of meals on wheels! It's one of those rare opportunities that I actually get to do something worthwhile!

Apart from that not much to report - had my first abs class on Tuesday evening (boy did that hurt!). Went to the opening of the Spider Club at Avalon with Steph, Roy, Nick, Bill and Bill's new LOVER Lucian (Hi Bill - you love hiiiiimm, you want to marrryyyy him, etc) - mucho champagne and got absolutely hammered!

My friend Steph has got a non-speaking featured part of Sex and the City. We are both thrilled (we, as I am the biggest fan of the show and he is the second biggest fan). He is going to play the subject of a discussion between Carrie and Samantha, who see him in a bookshop!!! One of my friends! In SATC!! Go Steph!

Then last night I was a good boy - worked late, went to the gym and then watched ER and some porn and went to bedfordshire.

Booked my flight to Miami today to see Zach for his birthday. Yippee! Never been to Miami before! I got so excited at the thought of all those muscle bound hunks walking around in speedos that a bit of sex-wee came out!

Wednesday, November 19, 2003

Uneventful day and evening spent at the gym and infront of the TV. Did, however, bring work home and got in at 8am this morning! I am clearly on fire.

Interesting, huh?

Tuesday, November 18, 2003

Because of night with Matt and lack of sleep because of Epic shagging, Friday daytime was spent procrastinating over whether to go home and sleep OR go to Opaline with Nick.

Second choice won, with a stop at G, where Nick, Nick's friend Mike and I nursed several Jack and cokes, and telling some guy to fuck off (ugly gut grabbed Nick's dick while in the toilet - asshole!)

Next stop was Opaline where Nick and I both realized that after half an hour of little available talent neither of us was going to hook up. Both ended up at my place at 4.30pm watching The Talented Mr Ripley before falling asleep half way through.

Saturday - had brunch with Bill and spent the best part of three hours having a great "putting the world to rights" conversation. Actually it was spent discussing our hectic social calendars and the lack of good men in the world. But those are important global issues, after all.

Procrastinated again on Saturday evening about whether to go out, but after a power nap ended up at the Roxy with Nick again. Snogged about five guys on the dance floor before going home with some guy called Eddie, who while cute, I think stole $20...but not sure...left his number though, so maybe the lack of guilt means that I just spent too much on drinks and can't remember.

Monday, November 17, 2003

So there was this frikkin wind last night of epic proportions, whose main purpose in life seemed to be to bring every last leaf from all the trees in the tri-state area. Now all the trees are bare and I find this incredibly depressing. It really, truly is winter. Summer seemed so fast!

Anyway - onto more important things. Had date with Matt Moneypenny last night. Very good date. Met practically all his friends in one fell swoop, and handled the occasion very well I might add (a gift in the form of a bottle of Absolut helped me thinks). So - met the friends, followed by a dinner at a great restaurant in Brooklyn. Endeared myself by ordering a Pinot Grigio in a French establishment (stupid brits, etc). Debate, great conv, all that stuff, blah, blah, blah. Meet friends again later. Discover that the wind has blown a tree down in Matt's street. Later on, drunken snogging and marathon, er, stuff and me staying the night.

And although it was all great I now have this nagging voice in my head telling me that I shouldn't have put out on the first date (even though it was FUN!). My friend assures me that I will "get a second date you sexy mofo. I bet Mr. Moneypenny has already told his fag hag about you and is wondering how to get you back into bed this weekend without seeming needy!"

Hope it's true. Because, in the words of French & Saunders, "I am smitten. I am drained by the very nearness of him". Or something like that...

Friday, November 14, 2003

Went to see The Matrix - Revolutions last night. What a let down! Totally felt cheated, which is what I read I would feel. Everything before hand had been set up so well and this was like a total let down.

Went home and comiserated with a cup of tea and "Working Girl", which is infinitely better and more satisfying!

Thursday, November 13, 2003

Has anyone ever noticed that police and ambulance sirens make that "Whoo-hoo!" noise? Has anyone ever noticed that they sound like a gaggle of gay men cat calling??? You will now.

NYC is full of them! Both ambulances and cat calling gay men.

I had this really great date last night - like REALLY great. He wanted to go for sushi which is like totally cool with me cause I am not digging the carbs right now. We even ordered a "Love Boat for Two". Cue giggles from other customers as the most enormous platter of every kind of sushi arrives on an actual wooden Junk. But we handled it well - the conversation was witty. I was on fierce. We drank hot sake, etc, etc.

Cut to Brooklyn walk in the leaves, Guinness, architecture, the realization that we are both chronically obsessed with Sonic the Hedgehog video games and all the other good stuff that goes with a really great date.

Then we get to the movies and as he turns away from me to get the tickets from the machine I make the first of two horrifying realizations. The first was that , from the back, he was the spitting image of my boss - same hair, shape of head, height...everything. The second realization was that his leather jacket was not in fact leather, but "pleather". And it wasn't a very nice style.

I know this may prompt some of you to say that I am shallow, but this is what I say to you............."shhh".

Anyway - it's all fine. Have ANOTHER date tomorrow night with a guy called Matt Moneypenny. And this is no lie - his great aunt or Uncle knew Ian Fleming and, as they say, the rest is history.

Wonder if he will be impressed that my new fave drink is a dirty Martini?

Wednesday, November 12, 2003

Lindsay and I celebrated our "last supper" yesterday evening by going to this great Italian restaurant called "Babbo" in Greenwich Village, which happens to be David Blane's fave eaterie (apparently he was in last week and we were reliably informed by the waiter that he was eating much more lightly than usual. Waiter also told us that had David performed the starvation stunt in NYC he would have got a lot more thrown at him than a few tomatoes. Insert extremely inappropriate joke).

Anyway - I had possibly the best pasta I have ever experienced - Goats Cheese with an orange sauce. Mmmm. Damn. Now I am hungry.

And when I went outside to have a cigarette (NYC smoking laws kill me - what better way to ice the cake than have a little ciggy after a great meal and wine?) I had another "New York Moment" - for those of you who are unaware of this unique phenomenon it is a few minutes of contentedness (some may call it smugness) where one realizes that one lives in one of the greatest cities in the world.

I think it had something to do with sitting on the steps next to this quaint little restaurant, on a cobbled street, with autumnal leaves falling - all punctuated by the distant noise of traffic a couple of streets away. Oh, and that handsome man who walked casually by, offering me just a hint of a "look".

Hot date with Kavi tonight - quite excited. Am wearing sexy underwear (not a thong) even though I have no intention of putting out (yet). But you never know when someone might cop a feel. Boy scouts and all that.

Not a boy scout copping a feel - I was talking about being "prepared"

Tuesday, November 11, 2003

So the weekend began officially on Friday night with Lindsay, Nick, Roy, Tess and I trooping off to OUT magazine's annual "100 Most Influential" party held at the Copacabana on the west side (apparently Out magazine thinks that the picker from boy meets boy is one of the 100 - I really don't think so).

For those of you who have never been to the Copacabana, all I can say is flock carpet and palm trees. A sprawling club that was way too overlit and pink in a way that looked like it had been hosed down with Peptobismal.

But the Absolut cocktails were plentiful and free, although this didn't stop me buying my first dirty Martini (which is now my drink of choice). To say I got drunk was an understatement. Met Steph later and then a few of us went to Elmo and then Lindsay thought it best to pop me in a cab and take me home. Then I did something I have never ever done in NYC, thus far. I threw up out of the window, at speed, streaking the outside of the cab with vomit and THE CAB DRIVER DIDN'T NOTICE! And I did it twice!!!

So Saturday was great - no hangover due to the purging! Went to the gym, did some shopping. Great! Evening not so great. Went to a friends party too early and ended up being at Kevin Bacon's party. Turns out friend and KB had hired the same venue! Anyway KB is v.short and dances like a nutter. But I suspect he was on his fifth bottle of Cristal.

After KB party went to Lotus, but was full of idiot blonde Lizzie Grubman types with nothing better to do than slop their Cosmos over you as you squeezed past their silicone enhanced boobs. Linds and I ended up in bed at 11.30pm.

Sunday - on the Lower East Side followed by a spot of late lunch in a nice cafe. Went to Summer Phoenix's shop (Some Lost Ruby) and discovered that Summer actually works there! Asked her what the smell in the shop was and she looked genuinely delighted to tell me that it was the candle she was burning. What is it about celebrities, even B list ones, that makes me feel so fluffy inside? I went across the road and bought the candle from the shop she bought it from!

Evening - supposed to go and see an off Broadway one man play about Addiction, but ended up staying in watching Kate Hudson and Matthew Mc get it on in How To Lose A Guy in Ten Days. Stupid film, but I love it. Kate has got absolutely no tits whatsoever. She wouldn't fare well at Lotus!

Saturday, November 08, 2003

I went to see Texas Chain Saw massacre with Lindsay last night - the new one, not the old one. Steph also came. The two of us tried to persuade Linds that she really wanted to see Kill Bill (Steph and I have both seen it before. WORK UMA!) but she was having none of it.

Anyway - TCSM is shite. Although I give snaps to the girl who played the lead cause she was great at acting shit scared for the entire duration of the movie, I have to say that I was really disappointed that she didn't get a bolt through the head when she runs through the cattle corridor thingy at the meat factory - you know...the one that kills the cows. Cause that would have been a great way to die. Or at least for her to lure....

Oh, I hate it when I watch films and they are crap. It's the instinctive part of me that wants to find something good in everything. Steph was the lucky one, cause he made the sensible decision to bugger off after sitting through 20 minutes to sneak into Kill Bill, to still get to see most of the movie. Wish I'd done that!

What was really frightening though, was Lindsay's reaction to the scary, jumpy bits - she kept holding onto my arm and cowering! I felt like quite the straight boyfriend! Until it ended when I magically turned into a homo again by announcing that the whole way through the movie I had wanted a cup of tea.

Another friend calls me at 12.30am to tell me that he is never dating again. Unless the date is paid for by the other guy and / or it involves sex at the end. Wasn't sure if the last bit was more important than the paying for the dinner bit, but anyway - I was kinda asleep and my brain was fuzzy. I would never date again also if I thought that there was no possibility of sex at the end of it. But it's nice to know that I can also say "I'm not that kinda first date guy". Just nice to know, that's all. Never said it, of course...

Friday, November 07, 2003

NOTICE - regarding Tom Ford's departure from Gucci, I have been unable to comment.

BTW - I am wearing the fiercest Armand Basi black sweater today - it has leather lightening bolts down the sleeves! I rock! That said, it has provoked numerous sniggers in the office. My boss just recited the immortal line from Flash Gordon...

"Flash! I love you! But we only have fourteen hours to save the world!"

My British friend Lindsay is in town and I christened her arrival by taking her to a tres exclusive champagne reception at the Bergdorf Goodman's men's store. Turns out that someone had lied about the champagne (actually the PR who invited me). We spent the next hour and a half nursing warm glasses of Pinot Grigio and being fed the blandest canapes ever. Didn't stop Lindsay and I downing about five glasses before deciding to leave. Ended up back at the apartment watching the Country Music Awards - basically an auditorium full of mid west rednecks singing songs called "Honk if you Honky Tonk" (I'd rather not, thanks all the same).

Had a very interesting meeting at Absolut yesterday (one of my clients) about the legal elements of marketing alcohol! Opened my eyes even further to the incredibly messy quagmire of US litigation. Basically so much as frown on someone and you get sued for millions. Quite extraordinary!

Thursday, November 06, 2003

For those of you who don't know, Beige is this night held at the B-Bar every Tuesday night. I made the stupid mistake (I use that word loosely) of taking a sleeping tablet before drinking as was on such an adrenaline rush from the hectic day I had. Sleeping pills and alcohol do not mix well.

To say that I feel like ass and that my mouth is a cess pit is an understatement. And I can't remember certain parts of the evening including getting home!

Then this evening I have some stupid champagne book launch to go to at Bergdorff's, but I am sure things will look slightly rosier after the fifth glass of champagne. I think I could seriously become an alcoholic here. I am always telling my NYC friends that New Yorkers drink way much more than Brits. Seriously! They PUT THEM AWAY HERE! I can already hear my liver whimpering "help me...."

Tom Ford has left Gucci Group! Shit.

Wednesday, November 05, 2003

So last night was spent with my dad and my stepmom. We went to a very swishy restaurant (on my advice) called Blue Fin. Thought about expensing it back, but too risky - they paid in the end. Felt guilty - was $200!!!

I made the stupid mistake of bringing up the "lets name one personality flaw that we each have" conversation. Let's face it - the person that raises that conversation point only really raises it as an excuse to take a dig at someone in particular. Turns out that my biggest flaw is talking and doing things to fast.

Anyway the flaw that I pointed out in my father was that he constantly interrupts during conversations but gets mad when people do it to him. So then for the rest of the night I could see him trying REALLY hard not to interrupt. He'd go to do it and then stop himself and say "sorry".

I discovered that this is about as annoying as interrupting.

I am becoming more and more like my father - something that I had thought might be happening, but realized last night just how much. I am trying to intellectualize the reasons why that might be happening (time spent with parents in formative years, etc).

I am not yet becoming like my stepmom, as I have only known her for four years. That is yet to come. Maybe it will manifest itself physically and my hair will become wild and untamed. More so.

Lindsay is coming to stay tomorrow for a week and I am so excited. I have got us free tickets for two champagne parties and one off Broadway show. Work, my PR muscle. WORK!

Tuesday, November 04, 2003

Wow - this is somewhat overwhelming. Free reign to tell everyone about what I am feeling, thinking...whatever.

Which reminds me - I still haven't taken one of those NYC horse and cart rides around Central Park. The thing is that I really need to find someone special to take with me. And at the moment, that relates only to a few close friends (most of which reside in the UK) and my mum. And the latter would be really depressing.

Am at work and not working. WORK WORK WORK! Nope - going out on the fire escape for a cigarette!

I can't decide if it is the coffee or the vitamins I have recently started taking that is / are making me shaky in the AM's. Hmmm. Maybe it is the cigarettes. GIVE UP!!!

Not yet.

Oh...and I need to bring everyone's attention to the fact that one of my bestest friends, Zach, has now moved to Miami for the winter months. Bastard. He has no idea how much I envy him. Actually he does, cause I told him several times. Anyway - I miss him very much. I miss you Zach! What will I do at Beige now on Tuesday nights?

Chat up your dancer, that's what.