Because I am a responsible gay man I like to keep my nether regions in a good state of repair.
On Saturday evening, in advance of a night out on the tiles (and because I hadn't been laid in exactly three weeks) I decided to do a bit of man-scaping, most particularly around my sack and my crack, but not my back because, well, I don't have any hair on my back.
For the uninitiated amongst you, there are four main reasons for removing excess hair from your or your partner's man-bits:
1) General trimming back to a grade two or three (maximum) will make your equipment look bigger. And it doesn't matter if your equipment is already pretty big. After all, you can never have too much of a good thing.
2) General shaping will help make your lower abdomen appear more defined and means that there is less risk of your sexual partner accidentally flossing while he / she is downstairs.
3) The sensation of having no hair on your balls or around your arse feels very, very wrong ... but oh-so right!
4) Incorporating all of the above into your sexual repertoire can be fun!
There are, however, a few caveats:
Only ever use an electric trimmer and never, ever a pair of scissors.
Only ever use a safety razor and never, ever a cut-throat razor.
If you do use a safety razor make sure you or your partner has a clear field of vision (even using a mirror can be dangerous.) For that reason it is advisable to use a male depilatory cream around the sack and crack areas. This also helps to reduce itchy stubble!
That is unless you have been taking a course of steroids for two weeks, which will have left your skin extremely sensitive to various chemicals, especially to calcium thioglycolate, which is the active ingredient used in most common off-the-shelf depilatory creams.
Doing this can cause burning and blistering.
Which is what I discovered on Saturday night.
Which is why I have not been laid now in three weeks and two days.
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