Thursday, June 17, 2004

Beef Curtains

So I was sat on our balcony this morning trying to coax myself out of sleep with a strong cup of coffee when I saw the weirdest thing.......a squirrel having a fight with a pidgeon! Honestly! The squirrel kept backing off but the pidgeon kept going for it. Isn't there something where you can write into The Times and report the first Robin of the year? I wonder if they would write about squizza / pidge fight club? Maybe not, because the first rule...etc.

Went to a meeting this morning in Hammersmith with Rich, Lucy and Jane and on the way back we all started having a filthy conversation about other words for, er, ladies downstairs bits - e.g. muff, beef curtains, flange, lettuce (I didn't get that last one).

Anyway, the conversation merged into our human resources manager drinking from the furry cup (lesbian) and then swiftly onto a radio programme I listened to the other day which was about the most offensive words in the English language. Number two was "cunt" (sorry ladies, but I LOVE this word, and I think you should empower yourselves by reclaiming it.) Of course the others wanted to know what the number one most offensive word was and because our cab driver was black and the word was "nigger" I had to make like I had forgotten, which they responded to in the negative by prodding me hard to remember. Anyway - I was blushing hard!

Before the cabbie drove off after dropping us off at work he leaned out of his window and told us that it had been one of the rudest jobs he had had in a long time and he was thoroughly looking forward to driving us again.

Nobody can do smut like the British.