I get a huge amount of satisfaction from dressing down the suppliers that we use when they fuck up. I just got a cue sheet from a company that we are using to pitch a story to radio stations. The accompanying email asked that I obtain client approval within three and a half hours!
Joy! Now all of the general Monday morning frustration I have been feeling has been vented via an extremely patronising response - "approval in three and a half hours? Silly man!" Actually I didn't write that exactly but made it abundantly clear that I don't take well to receiving stupid approval requests!!! I guarantee that there are few PRs in this world who can get client approval in less than 24 hours!
Unless you work in PR you won't really appreciate all of that. But it leads me on to today's theme - why can't I ever construct a really catty response when I am put on the spot, in person? I can write the perfect put down email - not too bitchy, sly or aggressive...just condescending enough to make the recipient feel like a prize turnip. But on the spot? Nothing. I start to stammer and feel hot and my head races. And it is only when I walk away that the perfect response forms in my mind.
Wouldn't it be nice to be calm and collected and sufficiently self aware to respond to anything thrown at you? To be like Rebecca Loos? I only suggest her because it would have been nice to shag David Beckham as well as being articulate.
My friend Drew has a great put down (which he has, I might add, used on me, the bastard)...
Hint of a sympathetic smile, index finger to lips and...
"Shhh..."
Quote of the day...
"Consider how much more you often suffer from your anger and grief, than from those very things for which you are angry and grieved."
Marcus Antonius
And question of the day...
This weekend is London's gay pride march and festival. I am wondering - should I form and lead "Fags on Skateboards" to upsurp "Dykes on Bykes". It is probably the only way that I can get access to a cute gay skater dude.