Yeah, but no, but yeah...

"Cause what happened was right that you know the Redmon sisters? Well they found a verruca sock in the ladies changing rooms and so Rochelle put it in Carrie’s bag and like she completely had an eppy and turned up to Kamal Sharma’s party with a compass that she nicked from school and stabbed Kamal Sharma. But anyway Shelley Bentley gave Craig Sherman a blow job in the shallow end for a bit of his Funny Foot ice cream. Anyway I couldn’t have done nuffin because I was with Michaela the whole time because she was crying because you know Dominic Malone? Well she was supposed to be goin down the swings with him to go to third base. But anyway Ian Papworth, who I once got off with as a joke nicked a whole bottle of Dubonnet off Stacey Malin’s mum and hid it in the woods but then he couldn’t find it but then he did find it but then he didn’t like it so he threw it at a family of gypos."

Yes - I have been vegging for the past two hours in front of the sofa watching Little Britain. I am OBSESSED with Vicky Pollard. For those of you who haven’t watched the show, Vicky is the illiterate, delinquent teenager – we all had one in our class – who talks with a very strong farmer accent, which is particularly hilarious to me as I come from the West Country!

Anyway. I am suffering from a hangover, the likes of which I haven’t known for quite some time. After having a very nice catch up with Will on the phone I went over to Matt’s house last night for dinner. We ended up necking two bottles off wine and half a bottle of Bombay Sapphire gin before going to sleep at like 4am or something. Was rudely awakened at 8am by a load of builders outside. But one of them was really cute so I didn’t mind too much!

So…the old wives tale of “Hair of the Dog” is not to be believed. Thinking that another glass of wine might do the trick in terms of ridding me of said hangover, when I got home I, er well, drank a glass of wine. It didn’t work. It just had the effect of making me feel really, really nauseous. So don’t do it is my advice. In fact my advice is…don’t drink. I know I won’t be again. For next four hours at least. It’s Kate’s birthday and we're celebrating it tonight at Sam’s pad. I am reliably informed that there will be alcohol present. Yay!