Bruiser!

Last night my friend Tyler and I went to Kazbar in Clapham. Got quite drunk (obviously).

Before we retire for the evening we decide to have one more for the road and mooch up to The Two Brewers. So we're just walking along the street and Tyler puts his hand in my back pocket. No hidden meaning there...he's just being friendly.

Then behind us these three guys start yelling "Oi! You fucking poofs!"

With my time in NYC aside, I have lived in London for over eight years now and I have never been accosted on the street which is quite incredible really because I've made out pretty intensely with guys in doorways and the like all OVER town. So the fact that we are getting hassled simply because Tyler has is hand in my back pocket is really something.

Now I am a lover not a fighter, but Tyler is a different matter. He's an East End boy, not at all gay looking (he's a bit of a rough diamond) and hard as fuck. So I instantly know we're in for trouble. Tyler turns around and goes right up to the guys, like right up in their faces and starts yelling "What's your fucking problem?" A big exchange of words follows and things start to get a bit heated. People walking by are speding up and then looking back over their shoulders. So I decide to step in and grab Tyler's arm to lead him away. "C'mon Tyler. It's not worth it"

And then one of the other guys just lunges at me so hard that I am knocked to the floor. Tyler then launches himself at the guy who pushed me and gets him in a head lock. Then the other two guys are on Tyler and it's a MESS.

Fortunately these other two guys who are walking past pull the two guys away and I grab Tyler. It all happens so fast. And there's some more shouting and stuff. And then Tyler and I just LEG IT!!! I don't think I have ever run so fast! We run down this side road off the high street and into a garage area to catch our breath. And then it must be the adrenaline and stuff, because we both start laughing - so hard that we can barely talk and tears are literally running down our faces!

So I was in a fight! Go me! I do have a rather nice bruise forming on my ass! I think I might start a Clapham South Fight Club.

Got home and drunk dialed practically all my friends to tell them about my right of passage! And almost no one was in!