I must be a nice person, because...

When I was younger my parents really disapproved of kids coming to the door on Halloween, trick or treating. Halloween in England isn't quite the same institution that it is in the US. I remember a few years ago there was this scare about people giving kids apples laced with razor blades. Only in England. People can be so bloody miserable in this country, that they feel nothing about maiming little kiddies. Infact, maybe I'm wrong, but it's probably written into the British constitution that maiming kids on Halloween is actively encouraged.

I am one of these people that gets a real kick from publicly displaying that I am for the most part a happy person. This probably sounds really odd - I love it when I'm on the tube in the morning on my way to work, surrounded by a bunch of people who have yet to kickstart themselves with an IV of v.strong coffee, and something comes to mind that is so funny (Joe dancing to Thriller last night) that I actually laugh out loud and grin uncontrollably. I'm not being immodest (well yeah I am), but I know (from being told) that I have a really good smile. And occasionally, when I have that kind of outburst I catch other people in the carriage smiling back at me. Yeah - they're probably thinking that I'm a bit retarded (because they are British and cynical) but it can't be a bad thing that I made anyone smile, for whatever reason! I guess that's why I'm not a typical Englishman.

Earlier I went to the off license to buy a bottle of wine for an evening spent infront of the TV watching The X Factor (LOVE LOVE LOVE Sharon Osborne!) and on the way back I was suddenly surrounded by about twelve six or seven year old boys and girls wearing witches and wizards outfits. And maybe it's just cause I'm a big old softie, but I was just overcome by the cuteness! They were so LITTLE!!! And sweet! And the way that they went "Trick or treat!?" and the fact that I didn't have anything to give them except for wine - well, it just broke ma' heart!

So despite the fact that I had been trained as a youngster to shun kids asking for candy ("It's a form of begging!" my Father informed me) I turned around, walked back to the store and bought a whole bunch of Haribo's and other candy, should any other little witches and wizards turn up at my door tonight. The chances of this happening are actually quite slim, cause we're on the second floor. But you never know!