New balls

I just had an "ick" moment. Kind of.

I am working a few hundred metres away from the Wimbledon Lawn Tennis Association which, as you may or may not know, is currently holding its annual grand slam tournament.

So me and my friend Lindsay, who also works in the locale, were sat outside the Dog and Fox pub, eating panini, nursing pints of cold cider, soaking up the summer sun and gossiping about stuff n' shit. All of a sudden I got distracted by the sight of six immaculately groomed, Wimbledon ball boys, casually sauntering past us, dressed in head-to-toe white: white cotton pants, white tennis shoes and white cricket sweaters.

The overall effect was quite mesmerising and I began to imagine myself in a gay tennis-porn, locker-room showdown with these white-clad hotties. Picture it - "Excuse me, but I think you just dropped your balls ... " etc, etc.

Lindsay stopped talking, looked at me and then followed my line of vision and clocked what I was checking out.

"Chris! That's disgusting," she exclaimed. "They’re about 16 years old!"

I tried to reason with her that they looked at least 18 and even if they were 16, they were still "legal", but she wasn't having it.

So, for the first time in my life, I was made to feel like a dirty old man.