[as David Bowie once famously sang]
My lovely friend Marv and I have been having a little discussion about fashion, as she mentioned on her blog just the other day.
I don’t know where my passion for fashion comes from. Some of you might say that because I’m gay it may well be part of my genetic make up. But I know some deeply unfashionable gay men (none of them my friends, I might add. Phew!), so I’m not so sure about that.
Still, I have a degree in Fashion and much of my career in PR has focused on fashion or has at least been related to the subject. I have attended and helped organise countless fashion shows, fashion shoots and many of my friends are fashion stylists. So, yes, you could say that I have more than a passing interest!
Quite a few years ago now I was sat in a pub at home with my best friend Helen and her friend Jill. At the time I was questioning the value of my career choice and whether I should be doing something more “worthy”. Jill said something to me, which I have always remembered, which was that while there are certain professions where it easy to see the benefits that they have on people’s lives, fashion is something that, rightly or wrongly, makes a lot of people very happy.
I made a lighthearted joke in my comments section the other day on how the love of family or friends is nothing next to a great haircut, dress or beauty treatment. Clearly that’s not true. But how many of you, during the times when you’ve felt a little low or blue, have been out and spent money on an item of clothing which made you feel attractive? I know I have. And most of the time it works. Sometimes it’s only a short-lived fix. But it helps and that’s not a bad thing, right?
Clothes play a big part in my personal value system (I’m sure a few of my old psychologists would have a field day with that!) If I go to work having paid a bit of thought about what I’m wearing – whether the colours compliment each other, if the cut of my jeans is right, if my jacket is accommodating enough for the thickness of my sweater – it helps me feel good all day long. But if I don’t pay enough thought to the selection process in the morning and I realise later that my sweatshirt isn’t quite long enough to fall over the waistband of my hipster jeans, I guarantee that it will affect my mood all day. I’m not talking about manic depression, but just a small, added irritation - the feeling that something is not quite right. Of course no one else really notices. Which leads me neatly on to my next point.
Regardless of what you might think, I don’t just dress for other people. I’d say it is a 70/30 split, leaning towards me. This will sound like the most conceited kind of shit, but ... every now and then I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror somewhere and I see myself in a way that I don’t normally see myself. And the times when I like what I see make me feel really good. As I have gotten older those occasions are becoming more and more frequent, but I think that’s because I understand more now about what looks good on me.
One of Marv’s comments made here the other day was that the overall advice proffered by Trinny and Susannah is all a ruse to make women spend more money on clothes. Sorry Marv honey, but I don’t agree with that (although I think you just said that to rile me!) Trinny and Susannah often work on women who already spend a fair bit of money on clothes, but who pick items which simply do not work with their body shape, hair or skin tone. As Darian rightfully implied, sometimes it can be as fundamental as a bad bra (you know, I don’t even wear bras, but even I know that you can’t beat a good Marks and Sparks!) With a bit of aggressive woman handling Trin and Suze help these women to understand their bodies and clothes in general so that they can, in future, purchase garments that make them look and feel great. Another thing to remember is that they hardly ever get these women to buy expensive designer clothes. In fact what they very often do is to assign a strict budget and encourage their “victims” to buy fewer items that work with other items in any number of combinations. Now that’s really clever dressing! It’s great when a friend compliments you on an item of clothing, which you know they’ve seen countless times before.
Dressing well is actually not very hard to do and it really doesn’t have to cost a lot. But at the risk of sounding like afore mentioned scary wenches, you have to understand the shape of your body; regardless of whether you are a man or a woman. For example, I have blue eyes and fairly pale skin, so pastel colours, on their own and on the whole, do not suit me. They wash me out. But they do work when I pair them with vivid colours. I’m also fairly skinny and would like to have a bigger build. Many other skinny gay men wear very tight T-shirts, which actually just accentuates their skinniness. But what I’ve found is that if I wear a T-shirt which is fitted without actually being skin tight, I can actually create the illusion that I have a slightly bigger build. Of course that illusion is lost when I’m at a club and the top comes off.
There was a time when you did have to spend a fair amount of money on garments to create a look that worked and flattered your body shape, but with the proliferation of clothes retailers who offer really great fashion at affordable prices this is no longer the case. For example, proper tailoring is available in nearly every high street fashion store. If you’re a guy with a big frame you can actually make yourself appear thinner by wearing shirts that taper in from underneath the armpits and then flare out again towards the hem. And you can buy those kinds of shirts in H&M! Whoo hoo!
It’s true that we live in a very image obsessed society. But human beings have always been, and always will be, seduced by the visual side of things. So why should we not have some fun with it?
The other important thing to remember is that clothes are quite often the best way to make a brilliant statement. The T-shirt is probably the best example of this. Anyone remember the Vivienne Westwood naked cowboys? Or Katherine Hamnett’s “58% Don’t Want Pershing”? And fashion also defined really important periods in history. Would punk or the hippy movements have happened without fashion? And in a weird kind of way I think that shoulder pads did a lot for helping women to be both fierce and sexy at the same time.
To close this rather lengthy post, I’d like to say one last thing. I’ve talked a lot about fashion here and ironically fashion is a word that I don’t really like that much, but it’s a general descriptor and known phrase, hence my using it. Coco Chanel once said “Fashion fades, but style lasts forever.” As I’ve entered my thirties I’ve been trying to apply that philosophy to my sartorial sensibilities more and more. That’s not to say that I don’t buy the occasional expensive, sexy boy top, which I’ll only ever be able to wear three or four times. But I get a kick, now more than ever, when I buy something that I can make work for me in a number of ways and hopefully over a number of years.
And Marv – I have a feeling that you and I may never see eye to eye on this one. I do really love you the way you are, but still, if you do ever happen to feel the urge, I will happily be your wingman for the afternoon and together we’ll do an extended tour of The Bullring.
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