Friday, November 19, 2004

A Deity. Sure to be canonized.

Ol Dirty Bastard, aka Big Baby Jesus, dropped dead this week in a recording studio. Here's a quick comparison between him and his namesake, Jesus Christ.

Age of death:
Despite being called Big Baby, the Wu-Jesus lived to be 36, three years longer than Christ.

Good works:
Jesus Christ fed a lot of people with bread and fish, and also helped out at a wedding by turning water into wine. On the other hand, when a caller asked on an MTV talk show what Big Baby Jesus was doing to give back to the community, his instant response was: "Nothing."

Lady friend:
Jesus Christ: a ho called Mary Magdalene
BB-Jesus: Icelene (though he had 13 children with various mothers)

Cause of death:
Jesus Christ: crucifixion
BB-Jesus: crack

Wisdom:
Jesus Christ: "I am the way, the truth and the light"
BB-Jesus: "White girls shake your ass. Black girls shake your ass. Everybody shake your ass."

Ol Dirty Bastard, aka Big Baby Jesus - 1968-2004. RIP.

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