Honesty is the best policy

Jake and I went out for dinner last night to Axis at One Aldwych (my suggestion – one of my all time favorite restaurants).

About half way through dinner I go “Look Jake, there’s something that I have to tell you. And I want to tell you now, so that you don’t think I’m stringing you along or anything. And I want to tell you before we go to Paris. Just so there are no misunderstandings.”

He looks at me really seriously, and I guess he’s thinking that I’m going to give him the big brush off. “Ok. What’s wrong?”

I tell him all about the fact that there is a possibility that I could be going back to New York. I explain that I needed to come back to London to make me realise how good I had things there. I explain that nowhere has ever felt quite like home, the way that NY did. I tell him that the job is nowhere near in the bag yet, that I still have another interview to get through and that even after that there are still some hurdles in terms of visas and stuff. But ultimately, if I do get the job, then I will definitely be leaving.

And in his brilliant way, he just listens and doesn’t interrupt and takes it all in. “Ok. I understand better now why you need to take this slow. That’s ok. I’m glad you told me.”

I reiterate that it has nothing to do with him. I really like spending time with him and in many ways I think that he could be really great for me. But at the moment, where I am in my life, I just can’t commit to anything beyond what happens today and that I’ll totally understand if he wants to stop things now, before anyone’s feelings get any stronger.

And he is so sweet. He takes my hand and smiles and says “Whatever happens you’ve made a friend here.”

Then he looks serious again and says, “If you got to New York can I come and visit you?”

And I grin and say “Jake. Wherever I am in the world, you can always come and visit me!”

Again. I’m gonna say it again. I am the luckiest guy in the world to have so many beautiful, amazing, inspirational people in my life – Helen, Will, Vix, Drew, Wayne, Lindsay...to name but a few. I frikkin LOVE you guys! You mean the WORLD to me, And now Jake. How could I ever ask for more?

Check in on Monday for a full low down on my jaunt to gay Paris! Until then, HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND Y’ALL!